Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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