look no pants
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
