More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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