We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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