I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
