Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
