he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize