Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
