I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think a kid would responsible me up
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
