DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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