you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
