you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
