Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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