She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
