This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
