she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Life is so much better after having sex.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
