my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
