Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
