Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
