I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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