yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
