i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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