covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
