Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize