somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
