just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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