Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
