Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
