dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
