I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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