So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You're like the curious george of whores
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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