I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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