home. puking in laundry basket.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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