areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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