Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
