Me too!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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