he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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