Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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