my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
