so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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