I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize