Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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