When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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