She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
