So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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