You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
