I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
