Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
