No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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