On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
