i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
