We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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