The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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