am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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