That's intense
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
