he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
