i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
