Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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