Life is so much better after having sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
