I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
