I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize