just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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