Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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