have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
