you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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